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[HLF]DrMatta: TUNNEL RATS
[HLF]DrMatta: welp thx
[HLF]GUI: play it
[HLF]GUI: i'm watching a let's play of it
[HLF]GUI: it's so terrible
[HLF]DrMatta: FPS?
[HLF]GUI: yes
[HLF]GUI: just install it
[HLF]GUI: and play it
[HLF]DrMatta: oh god
[HLF]DrMatta: what
[HLF]DrMatta: a videogame based on an uwe boll movie
[HLF]DrMatta: instead of the other way around
[HLF]GUI: install it
[HLF]DrMatta:
http://www.gamespot....review-6212568/
[HLF]DrMatta: oh gos
[HLF]DrMatta: d
[HLF]GUI: you'll thank me one day
[HLF]DrMatta: what have you done
[HLF]GUI: i know you will
[HLF]GUI: Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha . . .
[HLF]DrMatta: In fact, the game gives itself away from the start. "You tunnel boys like things real deep," remarks a GI during the opening cutscene, "like deep down in your own dark tunnel of the soul."
[HLF]GUI: do an LP of it for your first playthrough
[HLF]DrMatta: searching for booby traps in repetitive, brown tunnels or listening to a psychotic man-child rant about his father?
[HLF]DrMatta: a psychotic man-child rant about his father
[HLF]DrMatta looks at GUI
[HLF]DrMatta: why dont you have it
[HLF]GUI: why should it
[HLF]GUI: i*
[HLF]GUI: maybe next month
[HLF]GUI: u$40
[HLF]GUI: on this thing
[HLF]GUI: nope.txt
[HLF]DrMatta: wow
[HLF]DrMatta: 18,99
[HLF]DrMatta: why.avi.jpg.exe
[HLF]GUI: it better be downloading right now
[HLF]DrMatta: it's already done
[HLF]DrMatta: i'll check it out tonight
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[HLF]DrMatta: oh god
[HLF]DrMatta: nou mouse in main menu
[HLF]DrMatta: no
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[HLF]DrMatta: unskippable cutscenes
[HLF]DrMatta: eh
[HLF]DrMatta: i want to see how bad they are anyway
[HLF]DrMatta: hahaha christ
[HLF]DrMatta: you start in a box
[HLF]DrMatta: with 5 dead bodies
[HLF]DrMatta: shit voice acting THEY'Re....... DEAD???
[HLF]DrMatta: wow
[HLF]DrMatta: the VA is TROLL 2 level
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[HLF]DrMatta: what
[HLF]DrMatta: i die
[HLF]DrMatta: from nothing
[HLF]DrMatta: hhhhhh
[HLF]DrMatta: checkpoints
[HLF]DrMatta: HHH
[HLF]DrMatta: this is so bad
[HLF]DrMatta: hahaha so bad
[HLF]DrMatta: i killed my first enemy
[HLF]DrMatta: then some screenshot of deer hunting popped up
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[HLF]DrMatta: how many levels are there
[HLF]GUI: 7
[HLF]GUI: it's 5 hours long i think
[HLF]DrMatta cries
[HLF]DrMatta: why do you torment me so
[HLF]DrMatta: hhhh
[HLF]DrMatta: already died
[HLF]DrMatta: five times
[HLF]DrMatta: due to traps
[HLF]DrMatta: lmao
[HLF]DrMatta: the enemies
[HLF]DrMatta: just pop out of the level wall
[HLF]DrMatta: so terribad
[HLF]DrMatta: you exit a long crouching tunnel
[HLF]DrMatta: and immediately
[HLF]DrMatta: fall into a trap
[HLF]DrMatta: hhhhhhhhhhhhhh
[HLF]DrMatta: **** this game
[HLF]DrMatta: its almost
[HLF]DrMatta: trial and error
[HLF]GUI: are you playing on Hard
[HLF]DrMatta: yes
[HLF]DrMatta: there is no medium
[HLF]DrMatta: thought i'd
[HLF]DrMatta: go all the way
[HLF]DrMatta: is the whole game
[HLF]DrMatta: these tunnels
[HLF]DrMatta: i like how those traps
[HLF]DrMatta: pop up once you walk slow
[HLF]DrMatta: but stay hidden when you run
[HLF]DrMatta: the ****
[HLF]DrMatta: i cant disable a trap
[HLF]DrMatta: which i need to walk over
[HLF]DrMatta: inside a tunnel
[HLF]GUI: grenades are bugged too
[HLF]GUI: they don't explode
[HLF]GUI: ever
[HLF]DrMatta: hahaha
[HLF]DrMatta: i secured
[HLF]DrMatta: a door
[HLF]DrMatta: but fell through it anyway
[HLF]DrMatta: i cant finish the level
[HLF]DrMatta: since i cant get
[HLF]DrMatta: past that trap
[HLF]DrMatta: oh wait
[HLF]DrMatta: some pixel
[HLF]DrMatta: activated it
[HLF]GUI: WHOA, GROADY TO THE MAX
[HLF]DrMatta: yeah
[HLF]DrMatta: he said that
[HLF]DrMatta: 5 times already
[HLF]DrMatta: good lord
[HLF]DrMatta: combat is terrible too
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[HLF]DrMatta: the ultimate endurance test
[HLF]DrMatta: lmao
[HLF]DrMatta: a snake bit me
[HLF]DrMatta: so cheap
[HLF]DrMatta: everything
[HLF]DrMatta: kills you instantly
[HLF]DrMatta: what a terrible fucking game
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[HLF]DrMatta looks at Tunnel Rats
[HLF]DrMatta: noooooooooooooooooooooo
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[HLF]DrMatta: shellshock 2 IS better
[HLF]DrMatta: ....veLvEt asssSsasSsInnn.... .
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[HLF]DrMatta: 10:56 AM - [HLF]GUI: you make it through
10:56 AM - [HLF]GUI: i may buy you syndicate legit
10:56 AM - [HLF]GUI: for the 360
[HLF]DrMatta: also
[HLF]DrMatta: i'll hold you to that
[HLF]DrMatta: fucking game
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[HLF]DrMatta: hahahaha
[HLF]DrMatta: when the level loaded
[HLF]DrMatta: i could walk around in some part of the level
[HLF]DrMatta: for 3-4 seconds
[HLF]DrMatta: before it warped me to my right location
[HLF]DrMatta: if i finish this on hard
[HLF]DrMatta: i'm going to kill myself
[HLF]DrMatta: what the ****
[HLF]DrMatta: i died
[HLF]DrMatta: and i can't press ENTER to CONTINUE
[HLF]DrMatta: only MAIN MENU works
[HLF]DrMatta: are they trolling me?
[HLF]DrMatta: well
[HLF]DrMatta: they succeeded
[HLF]DrMatta: in making me paranoid
[HLF]DrMatta: for traps
[HLF]DrMatta: going through tunnel at snail pace etc
[HLF]DrMatta: **** you forever
[HLF]DrMatta: etc
[HLF]DrMatta: so fucking long
[HLF]DrMatta: between checkpoints
[HLF]DrMatta: goddamn
[HLF]DrMatta: so fucking cheap
[HLF]DrMatta: i have to jump in holes all the time
[HLF]DrMatta: when on ground
[HLF]DrMatta: and one has grenades strapped
[HLF]DrMatta: at the entrance
[HLF]DrMatta: so i jumped in ~BOOM~
[HLF]DrMatta: FUCKING CHRIST
[HLF]DrMatta: some parts in the water
[HLF]DrMatta: have holes with spikes in them too
[HLF]GUI laughs like Bertruger
[HLF]DrMatta: THANK GOD I'M AMERICAN, MAN.
[HLF]DrMatta: THANK GOD I'M FREE
[HLF]DrMatta: lmao
[HLF]DrMatta: i like
[HLF]DrMatta: how his dialogue resets
[HLF]DrMatta: when you exit to menu and back
[HLF]DrMatta: i've heard it 5 times now
[HLF]DrMatta: ****
[HLF]DrMatta: i cant make screenshots with STEAM now
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[HLF]DrMatta: thank god its only
[HLF]DrMatta: 7 levels
[HLF]DrMatta: what
[HLF]DrMatta: i literally have to hear
[HLF]DrMatta: 1 minute of dialogue over again
[HLF]DrMatta: because i alt-tabbed
[HLF]DrMatta: there's no indication
[HLF]DrMatta: whatsoever
[HLF]DrMatta: where to go
[HLF]DrMatta: and the game remembers the checkpoint point
[HLF]DrMatta: so everytime i cross the line i get SAVING CHECKPOINT
[HLF]DrMatta: so i dont know which is the correct latest one
[HLF]DrMatta: **** this game forever
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[HLF]DrMatta: im setting a smoke signal
[HLF]DrMatta: for my pickup
[HLF]DrMatta: and the smoke covers the whole area
[HLF]DrMatta: where they ambush me
[HLF]DrMatta: i cant see shit
[HLF]DrMatta: and they obviously can see me everywhere
[HLF]DrMatta: and they kill me almost in one shot
[HLF]DrMatta: ****
[HLF]DrMatta: my
[HLF]DrMatta: life
[HLF]DrMatta: ahahahahhaha
[HLF]DrMatta: the chopper
[HLF]DrMatta: clipped out of the sky
[HLF]DrMatta: and it was supposedly hit
[HLF]DrMatta: so the chopper was spinning
[HLF]DrMatta: and every seat was empty
[HLF]DrMatta: did they even bother to playtest it
[HLF]DrMatta: hahahaha
[HLF]DrMatta: crawling through the tunnel
[HLF]DrMatta: american flag pops up
[HLF]DrMatta: so bad
[HLF]DrMatta: that sequence
[HLF]DrMatta: played over again
[HLF]DrMatta: because i talked to you etc
[HLF]DrMatta: so i reached the level exit
[HLF]GUI: that flag sequence
[HLF]GUI: if you backtrack
[HLF]DrMatta: and in the stats screens
[HLF]GUI: to the beginning of the tunnel
[HLF]DrMatta: it continued
[HLF]GUI: and get into it again
[HLF]GUI: it plays
[HLF]GUI: again
[HLF]DrMatta: yeah i bet
[HLF]GUI: because they didn't get rid
[HLF]GUI: of the trigger
[HLF]DrMatta: triggers
[HLF]DrMatta: so bad
[HLF]DrMatta: 2/7 complete
[HLF]DrMatta: i think i already played
[HLF]DrMatta: 2 hours at least
[HLF]DrMatta sighs
[HLF]GUI: last two levels
[HLF]GUI: are supposedly 25 mins each
[HLF]DrMatta: goddamn
[HLF]DrMatta: the third level
[HLF]DrMatta: begins with a broken as **** ambush
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[HLF]DrMatta: that chopper bit
[HLF]DrMatta: is impossible
[HLF]DrMatta: i died like
[HLF]DrMatta: 20 times now
[HLF]DrMatta: enemies instakill you on hard
[HLF]DrMatta: most of the time
[HLF]DrMatta: and there are seven
[HLF]DrMatta: from each direction
[HLF]DrMatta: doesnt matter got past it
[HLF]DrMatta: back into shitty tunnels again
[HLF]DrMatta: hahaha
[HLF]DrMatta: i shot some civilian woman
[HLF]DrMatta: DIE! DIE! DIE!
[HLF]DrMatta: so bad
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[HLF]DrMatta: what engine is this
[HLF]DrMatta: yeah that line
[HLF]DrMatta: is said quite a lot
[HLF]GUI: velvet assassin engine i think
[HLF]DrMatta: so horrible
[HLF]DrMatta: im at some house
[HLF]DrMatta: in a field
[HLF]DrMatta: in the middle of fucking nowhere
[HLF]DrMatta: with a small wooden mill
[HLF]GUI: just like real nam, young tunnel rat
[HLF]DrMatta: next to it
[HLF]DrMatta: the ****
[HLF]DrMatta: the game crashed
[HLF]GUI: be garbage of cesspool
[HLF]DrMatta: now
[HLF]DrMatta: i have to replay everything
[HLF]DrMatta: Yes! Yes! Yes!
[HLF]GUI: THIS SHIT IS INTENSE.
[HLF]DrMatta: one tunnel contains
[HLF]DrMatta: 4 trap doors, 2 snakes, 10 commies
[HLF]DrMatta: no checkpoints
[HLF]GUI: just how i like it
[HLF]DrMatta: some enemies
[HLF]DrMatta: need 20 bullets
[HLF]DrMatta: not even kidding
[HLF]DrMatta: i like how the head explosion
[HLF]DrMatta: is just the head disappearing
[HLF]DrMatta: and a small PNG file of "blood" flashing for a second
[HLF]DrMatta: are you watching the playthrough at the same timre
[HLF]DrMatta: how long is level 3
[HLF]DrMatta: there are 8 levels btw
[HLF]DrMatta: my life
[HLF]DrMatta: there are bits
[HLF]DrMatta: where they flood a tunnel
[HLF]DrMatta: with water
[HLF]DrMatta: so useless
[HLF]DrMatta: it has no effect at all
[HLF]DrMatta: also how the **** does a tunnel magically fill with water
[HLF]DrMatta: oh god
[HLF]DrMatta sighs
[HLF]DrMatta: some snake bit me
[HLF]DrMatta: insta-kill
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[HLF]DrMatta: so bad
[HLF]DrMatta: i like how you can see
[HLF]DrMatta: the skybox outlines
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[HLF]DrMatta: a tunnel
[HLF]DrMatta: where every room
[HLF]DrMatta: splits in three
[HLF]DrMatta sighs
[HLF]GUI: start drawing maps like a real tunnel rat
[HLF]DrMatta: thats what
[HLF]DrMatta: the main character said too
[HLF]GUI: do it
[HLF]DrMatta: these levels
[HLF]DrMatta: so long
[HLF]DrMatta: YESSSSSSSSS
[HLF]DrMatta: 45 minutes
[HLF]DrMatta: fml
[HLF]DrMatta: only 5 levels
[HLF]DrMatta: remain
[HLF]DrMatta: quit
[HLF]DrMatta: **** this game
[HLF]DrMatta: forever
[HLF]GUI: a broken mike
[HLF]GUI: a good mike.
[HLF]DrMatta: too bad
[HLF]DrMatta: i cant see my total play time
[HLF]DrMatta: im sure
[HLF]DrMatta: i already spent 3 hours with it
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[HLF]DrMatta: i didn't
[HLF]DrMatta: im still at LEVEL 4
[HLF]DrMatta: 3/8 completed
[HLF]DrMatta: on HARD
[HLF]DrMatta: and i actually found
[HLF]DrMatta: all trophies so far
[HLF]DrMatta: in every level
[HLF]DrMatta: i wonder what you get for it
[HLF]DrMatta: probably nothing
[HLF]GUI: a life wasted.
[HLF]DrMatta: i dont know
[HLF]DrMatta: if i can bare another 5 levels
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[HLF]DrMatta:
http://www.youtube.c...ZbPqvfvBI#t=29s
[HLF]DrMatta: im sure
[HLF]DrMatta: this is what they expected
[HLF]DrMatta: everyone to do
[HLF]DrMatta: having fun locating booby traps
[HLF]DrMatta: i can imagine the devs doing that
[HLF]DrMatta:
http://en.wikipedia....wiki/Tunnel_rat
[HLF]DrMatta: they just read
[HLF]DrMatta: this wiki page
[HLF]DrMatta: and made a game out of it
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[HLF]DrMatta: i'm on 37.5% of the game
[HLF]DrMatta: ..almost...half..way
[HLF]DrMatta: its actually
[HLF]DrMatta: worse than SNIPER
[HLF]DrMatta: which i thought
[HLF]DrMatta: was improbable
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[HLF]DrMatta: wat
[HLF]DrMatta: i jumped down a hole
[HLF]DrMatta: and immediately got killed
[HLF]DrMatta: by a snake
[HLF]DrMatta: but i cant see him
[HLF]DrMatta: from above ground
[HLF]DrMatta: so cheap
[HLF]GUI: it was hiding in a box
[HLF]GUI: badoom fart
[HLF]DrMatta: kill yourself
[HLF]GUI: is that what you say to yourself in the mirror after playing tunnel rats
[HLF]DrMatta: ****
[HLF]DrMatta: is this level
[HLF]DrMatta: the infinite tunnel level
[HLF]DrMatta: this tunnel
[HLF]DrMatta: is insanely long
[HLF]DrMatta: HOW MANY PEOPLE DO I HAVE TO KILL TO GET OUT OF HERE?!?! - weird al, vietnam